This weekend marked the 4th anniversary of the closing of CubeSpace. The anniversary was very sweetly noted by Rick Turoczy on Facebook. I mention that specifically because this is the first year since we closed that I was not acutely aware of the anniversary. This is also the first year that I can think about CubeSpace without crying. I see this as a good thing, especially since CubeSpace seems to have resurfaced as a theme in my life recently.
The resurfacing began with the loss of my friend Igal Koshevoy in April of this year. Igal was a remarkable human being: brilliant, inquisitive, sincere, humble and committed to both friends and community. Igal was one of the people who really helped make CubeSpace the community that it was. And, as I learned at his memorial service, many people cannot think of Igal without thinking of CubeSpace and vice versa. I am both touched and honored by this connection.
But the CubeSpace reminders extended far beyond the community’s mourning of Igal. It seems to be in the air right now. I have found it coming up in all sorts of places. Freelancers with no knowledge of CubeSpace wishing aloud to me that there was a community where they could belong. Bumping into people I had not seen since CubeSpace closed, but who greeted me with open arms as if I had last seem them only yesterday. People I had run into on the street who spontaneously mentioned how much they missed CubeSpace and appreciating the connections they made there.
For a long time, I couldn’t really distinguish the boundaries between CubeSpace and myself. I had poured so much of my heart and soul into CubeSpace that I felt physical pain whenever I thought about the loss. I lost touch with many people I cared about because I associated them with CubeSpace. It was all just too painful. But, like everyone who grieves, time makes the pain more bearable. I am now beginning to reconnect with some of those people because I do still want them in my life.
I apologize to anyone who feels like I just let our relationship fizzle out to nothing. It wasn’t you. it was me. While I work my way through my contact lists, reconnecting one person at a time, I would also like to invite members of the CubeSpace community to reach out to me. I am now ready to start rebuilding those bridges. Want to get together for coffee or a beer? Let me know. Believe me, I would love to hear from you.