This may be the longest stretch I have gone in a long time without posting anything here. It is not for lack of writing. The drafts are busy piling up. But I have withheld them all because they were little more than me whining about just how hard waiting is. Trust me, it is hard. And you will just have to trust me unless you have personally waited for that call. Because despite the heartfelt warnings I received from my numerous friends and family who have been where I am now, it is turning out to be harder than I ever thought it would be.
I have a friend who is in the early stages of her pregnancy. She has miscarried twice, both early on. She is sitting on pins and needles as the time ticks by. Each minute is a minute longer that she has not miscarried. But she has no idea what the next minute holds. I can commiserate with her as we both agonize about how awful waiting is. But I cannot truly know or her anxiety that her body might betray her once again.
My friend and I commiserate about just how hard waiting is. But that is all we can do, because I have never walked in her shoes nor she in mine. There are even days when I struggle to convey what I am feeling to David, the one other person who should know exactly what I am going through. But David and I are dealing with the situation differently. Which is absolutely fine. Different people have different coping mechanisms. But it does mean that there are moments when I feel like there truly is no one who understands.
And those are the moments where I have been turning to writing. And, while I do share a lot on this blog, some things are just meant to be kept private. Thus my extended silence.
Rest assured, I will be shouting it from the rooftops when we do get The Call. I promise I will post the news here. But until then, all I ask is that you not ask me how the adoption process is going. Because we are long past the point where I had any control on its progress. Now we are just waiting for that moment when the stars align and there is a pregnant birthfamily who has chosen us to parent their child.
Thank you for following along with us on this journey and for your understanding and patience with my extended silence. I can’t honestly say how well I will be able to keep up on blog posts once there is an infant in our lives, but hopefully the posts, when they do appear, will be exhaustedly joyous.