I just spent a week with 56 or so geeks and very limited wifi that was both slow and cost $0.89 a minute. That kind of brought us back to the pre-Google age. Every night, there were multiple questions over dinner that remained unanswered because we didn’t have access to the internet. It was both kind of refreshing and kind of debilitating. We have all become so used to having endless information at our fingertips that it is hard to switch back to either not having the answer, or having to remember the question until the answer can be looked up.
In addition to no internet access, there was no cell service available. I would have enjoyed that much more if it hadn’t overlapped with my father being in the hospital with pneumonia. The pneumonia was direct a result of aspirated liquids. That is not a new issue, but as my father grows weaker and his swallowing skills deteriorate, the risk has seriously increased. My father is back at home now, and he is currently only allowed liquids that have been thickened to the consistency of honey and he only has the strength to eat pureed food that is spoon-fed to him. This has raised the specter of him not being able to stay adequately hydrated or take in enough calories to sustain himself.
I tried talking to my father before I left while he was still in the hospital. It was very challenging for him to hear me and his few responses apparently really wore him out. I just got back yesterday and then proceeded to sleep for 16 hours, so I haven’t had a chance to talk to him yet. Mornings are his best time, so I am planning on getting up early and calling him first thing tomorrow morning.
I am heading east in two weeks to see my father (and my niecelettes–I know they usually come first, but now I am too worried about my father’s health to make them my top priority right now. Lest you think I have been replaced with a pod person, I did Facetime with them this morning). I find myself wishing that the trip was much sooner and dreading the whole thing. Not that there is anything I could do to change my plans. My best friend is flying in for my birthday next week and only a dire emergency will make me miss that because we really just don’t get to see each other enough. Plus, her presence will help me not obsess on all the things I can’t do to help support my father.
In the interim, I just need to manage to function despite my jetlag. And, start the process of preparing myself to see my father in a much weaker state than the last time I saw him. The jet lag just takes time. The preparation will take actual work to find the right balance between reality and what my imagination can come up with.