Yesterday, I went hiking with David and a couple of his aunts and uncles. We hiked down a fairly steep trail to a black-sanded beach below. The hike was invigorating and the scenery was gorgeous. At one point one of David’s aunts leaned over to me and asked if I had ever been so happy that it made me quiver. She was asking because that was what she was experiencing at that very moment. I am sad to say that that is an experience I have never had.
That is not to say that I have never been extraordinarily happy. There was the day that I figured out that David was “the one,” my wedding day, the day my niecelettes were born and taking a significant step back in time, the day I met my baby brother. And those were only the days I could name without any thought. I am sure there are others.
On those days I remember that I was awestruck and giddy, but not necessarily quaking with joy. Perhaps quivering is just not a way that I experience happiness. It’s possible. But I prefer to think of it as a state of happiness that I just have yet to reach. A happiness goal, if you will.
These past few years have had their challenges, but life has been steadily improving. I am incredibly grateful for the ongoing successful growth of my business. And, while it can be overwhelming at times, I truly enjoy the work that I am doing. Perhaps I am in a good enough place in my life right now that I should be setting a happiness goal. After all, one of the many lessons that have been driven home this year is that life and good health are both temporary states. And the best way to appreciate both is to experience one’s life and not just let it pass on by.
So I am making yet another public commitment to myself via this blog. Starting right now, I commit myself to pushing my comfort zones when it comes to life’s experiences. If an invitation or event sounds interesting but feels intimidating, I will do my best to overcome my own resistance, barring risk to life and limb. After all, I gain nothing pushing myself to go beyond what is reasonable.
I also commit to opening myself up to happiness. To experience life as it should be experienced, without undo focus on what ifs and how can Is. And I will start by finishing this post and rejoining the family to see what is on today’s agenda.