Right now I should be working on any number of things, but having written one post recently, I find myself inclined to write another one. Perhaps it is the fact that I have been spending my time with friends I have known since college, which has put me in a reflective mood.
It was recently pointed out to me that I have known my college friends for 25 years. That means that I have known these people for more than half my life. We have been through crises and celebrations together. There have been marriages and a divorce, career triumphs and disappointments, periods of both physical and emotional distance and inseparability. Several of these friends now have children and I look forward to seeing how my friends develop as parents, just as I am very curious to see who their children become over time.
There is a certain comfort that comes from the knowledge that since our friendships have lasted this long and through this much, we will be friends for the remainder of our lives. That they, in a very real sense, have become more family than friends. Including the applicability of the adage that family are those that have to take you in when you show up. I take comfort in my confidence that were I to show up at any one of their doors with hat in hand, they would take me in.
Obviously, I take my friendships very seriously. Because of this, I keep people in the close acquaintance category for longer than most. I do so because of the high standard to which I hold myself and much less because of my expectations of them. If I don’t think that I know someone well enough or care enough about them to put the effort into maintaining the friendship, then I would rather wait and see how things play out. I would much rather hold someone at arms length for longer than not meet my own standards of friendship.
So for better or for worse, once I call you friend, you are probably stuck with me for a very long time. If that scares you, then you should run now. Before I get all attached to you and go running after you.