Yom Kippur starts tonight at sundown. At that point, Jews all over the world start a 25-hour fast (not even water is allowed) and spend the day in both personal and community self-reflection. Part of the process includes going through a prescribed list of failures several times over the course of the day. The list includes both actions that have hurt someone(s) and opportunities missed that could have helped someone(s). For me, the first few times feel like rote recitations, but as my blood sugar drop and my defenses start breaking down, the lists really do (for better or for worse) help me remember the times I have failed myself, my friends and my community over this past year.
For years, I thought the purpose of Yom Kippur was to make me feel the guilt due me. But, over the past couple of decades, I have come to understand that I was missing the point. There is certainly an element of taking responsibility for how both my actions and inactions impact the people in my life. However, I no longer think that is the only intended take-away. There is also an aspect of being willing to forgive myself and set my intention on not repeating the same mistakes as I made the previous year. It is also an opportunity to remind myself that I am fallible, and that even with the best of intentions, I will invariably blow it again in the coming year. The end result being plenty to think about next Yom Kippur.
There is a tradition of asking friends, colleagues and acquaintances for forgiveness for times I have knowingly or unknowingly hurt him/her. Ideally, I would do this individually, but I am choosing breadth over depth. It is important to me that everyone who reads this blog knows that I am sorry for anything I have knowingly or unknowingly done to make you uncomfortable or caused you any pain. I assure you that it was unintentional on my part and I hope you can and will forgive me. If there is anything specific that you would like to address with me, I encourage you to contact me so that we can work it out.
I wish all who celebrate Yom Kippur a G’mar Chatima Tova and an easy fast.