Lately I have been musing on the nature of the word arbitrary. In my mind, the Venn diagram of the word encompasses both whimsical and verging-on-random decision-making. I looked up the definition in my favourite dictionary (the Oxford English Dictionary) and found that my sense of the definitions is very close to right:
1. To be decided by one’s liking; dependent upon will or pleasure; at the discretion or option of any one. 2. Derived from mere opinion or preference; not based on the nature of things; hence, capricious, uncertain, varying.
There is a certain light-heartedness and freedom in arbitrary decision-making. A sense that one is beholden to no master. A sense of freedom that we often lose when we grow out of childhood. But, we often make arbitrary decisions as adults. Some are small and insignificant and others can be life-changing.
In fact, musing on arbitrariness made me start thinking of the song “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist” from the musical, Avenue Q.
There’s a line in the sing that I think captures the nature of arbitrariness perfectly:
Princeton:
Now not big judgments, like who to hire
or who to buy a newspaper from –
Kate Monster:
No!
Princeton:
No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican
busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!
I have always thought the distinction this song makes between so-called big and little judgements is entirely arbitrary. It seems only the most dogmatic activists make an effort to make every single decision a conscious one. For the rest of us, most of our decisions are made subconsciously.
Think of a restaurant that you are not very fond of. It is easy to explain away the ones that are too loud or smoky or the food is terrible. But what of those restaurants where everything is fine, but where you just don’t enjoy going to? Can you pin down what you don’t like about it? Or do you just have a general sense that its just not a place you particularly like?
Is that a subconscious or an arbitrary decision? Do you have some reason in the back of your mind that you are just not comfortable sharing or do you really have no idea why the “vibe” just feels off?
Let’s say the owner of a restaurant that you generally avoided sent you a survey asking what would make you come in more often. Assume that the survey is a sincere effort to make a change, so you want to be as frank as possible with the owner. But what do you say? Do you share that thing that makes you uncomfortable thinking about? Or, do you make up some reason because you are just too out of touch with your subconscious mind? And, if you are arbitrarily choosing between them, doe sit really matter?