A Still Mind

Right now my mind is anything but still. I have unfinished projects (some with looming deadlines), a lot of research to do, friends coming into town, trips to prepare for and then there is the whole getting ready for a baby part of the show. I am a strong proponent of Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird practice, so I decided I tackle some discreet tasks this morning while I drank my coffee and hung out with Dancer.
First, I decided to research baby formulas. This was a very poor choice on my part because I was not yet awake enough to deal with the onslaught of guilt-inducing tirades on the importance of breastmilk. I get it. Breastmilk is the best. And if I was having a bio baby, I would choose no other option unless medically required. Although it is possible for adoptive moms to force their bodies to lactate, it is not easy. And I have yet to find a good reference to adoptive moms who have actually managed to pull it off. And unless I can get a prescription from our pediatrician for a breast milk bank (which tend to have very limited supply and distribution is prioritized by medical need), formula is our only option.
Once I managed to wade through the tirades against formula, I discovered that they all contain questionable ingredients. So it is a matter of choosing the best of the worst. I got excited when I read about a European brand that has probiotics (which naturally occur in breast milk), until I read that that brand also high high amounts of aluminum.  There is a good second choice option from Europe, but expense aside, I would have to buy it on e-bay. Which in itself feels sketchy.
That pretty much leaves me back with the less-than-stellar US-based options. Where in addition to questionable ingredients, I have to decide whether I want to go with a family-owned manufacturer or not. This is about where I reminded myself that we are not yet in the adoption pool and that I do have some time to ruminate on this issue.
Then I decided to explore travel insurance options. Not sure what I was thinking there either. Adoption/birth are only covered in “cancel for any reason” policies, which are both more expensive than standard travel insurance policies and only cover 75% of trip costs. My favorite caveat is that cancel for any reason coverage requires that you notify the company 48 hours before your trip. So, if we get “the call” less than 48 hours before we leave or if our trip gets interrupted we end up with nothing.
It was at that point that I decided that the time had come for me to step away from the computer. I had actually done a fair amount of work (even if I didn’t like any of the answers I found) and I had to get ready for my acupuncture appointment. My acupuncturist is very skilled at quieting even my busy mind, so the timing could not be better.  Plus, Dancer had just left my lap to go harass his brother, so I snatched my opportunity to get up and go.